- By Matthew P. Binkewicz
- Opinions
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Communication is arguably the most important human skill. As living beings, our interactions are based on some form of communication. Regardless of age, occupation or social status, communication is vital not only for survival, but also for happiness and prosperity. To a great extent, our quality of life improves or declines based on the open exchange of ideas and the opportunity for civil discourse.
Consider this simple fact: all of our successes and failures in life are driven by our communication skills. Those who are good communicators are often most successful and reach their targeted audience with clarity and purpose. Poor communicators are often unsuccessful in business and relationships.
Whether in business, with your children, with your spouse, or with your neighbors, effective communication will not only improve every aspect of your life, but will transform it. There are three basics to effective communication: creating rapport, being a good listener, and posing thoughtful questions.
A good communicator builds a rapport with his or her audience. We all employ the concept of rapport at some time in our lives. Rapport is a state of responsiveness when two individuals or groups ‘click’ on a subconscious level. When they establish a subconscious connection there is something that goes to work underneath the surface of verbal communication. They feel a real connection toward each other. This happens a lot in our life, although it often goes unnoticed.
The skill of building rapport includes a natural tendency to listen and respond thoughtfully to what you have heard. Active listening is the ability to listen and absorb what someone else is communicating to you with the same level of integrity and respect as what you communicate to them. Communication is always a two way process. People who are ineffective at communicating are often self absorbed and interested in their own point of view and opinions. The ability to listen is one of the essential skills for communication success as it will enable you to deepen rapport and also to establish what’s most important to the person or group to whom you are communicating. If you actively listen to other people you will be able to identify their opinions, needs, and concerns.
Finally, the ability to ask effective questions is another critical and essential skill for communication success. Using questions is one of the most basic ways to establish a relationship with someone and when used effectively, you can easily get through to people when you know what to ask them and how to ask it. Having a conversation is based on the simple process of asking and answering questions. A very simple truth of human interaction is that until and unless we feel involved, we simply don’t respond and questions are one of the most important tools with which we establish people’s needs and identify their concerns.
These three essential skills for effective communication require practice and discipline. The rewards are better living and an improved way of life. We all need to be heard at some level. Good communicators have developed these skills that enable them to be heard. You can become an effective communicator. It is something that you can learn and cultivate. And that is to the point.
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