Archive: Opinions

Can we truly understand love?  How do we define marriage?  What is a lifetime commitment?  Who decides what constitutes a family.  Do we base marriage solely on pro-creation and further define marriage as a commitment between a man and a woman?

These questions, and others like it, have been at the forefront of a great debate.  For years, our country followed established parameters by which individuals could enter into marriage. The rules, often legislated by individual states, based a marriage on the Judeo-Christian belief of one man and one woman.

Additional rules and regulations were added, depending upon the circumstances that claimed to protect marriage from people who wished to attack and weaken the institution.  Color, religion, and one’s country of origin were often stumbling blocks to couples who wished to unite in marriage.  The notion of love rarely entered the conversation.  Society, or more accurately those who controlled the power in society, viewed marriage through a very narrow lens altering that view as they needed. 

Individual choice, freedom, equality, and justice played little, if any role, for couples who wished to unite in marriage.  The state in conjunction with local clergy, served as the panel of experts who granted permission for individuals to marry.  As with any group who wishes to hold power over others, they quoted scripture, philosophy and legislation that forbade marriage between individuals whom they deemed unworthy or unfit. 

The right to pursue happiness in its many forms is a right guaranteed in our constitution.  Marriage is one of those paths to happiness, and many choose to walk down that path.  There are dangers.  There are unexpected crises.  There are societal biases.  Yet, marriage is personal.  It is a commitment between two people who are willing to risk much in pursuit of  the ultimate-a relationship that nurtures, matures, and grows with time. 

This nation needs to honor the rights and freedoms of all who live in this land “of the free.”  Gay soldiers are in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting alongside straight solders.  When they return home to there loved ones or to those who are waiting for them, they ought to know that the freedom they were defending included the freedom to marry whomever they choose.  

President Obama declared his approval for same sex marriage earlier this week.  Perhaps it was Vice-President Biden’s vocal defense of same sex marriage last week.  Whatever the reason, I am proud of a President, imperfect though he may be, to choose liberty and freedom over tyranny and oppression.

Like President Obama, I too had wrestled with the topic of same sex marriage.  From a moral and religious point of view, I struggled quite a bit.  The deciding factor was a visit to the home of an elderly couple.  The patient was dying from cancer.  He was a decorated World War II Marine who had graduated from college and enlisted into the armed forces to serve his country in 1943.  He had earned the respect of his peers both in the military and in the community.   His partner of nearly 55 years was by his side during those final days.  If I had to describe the scene in that room, it would need just one word-love.  It was a lifetime commitment demonstrated with unconditional love.  It was a marriage between two individuals who happened to be men.

Today, family and friends have entered into same sex marriage.  I am proud of their courage.  I applaud their commitment.  Most importantly, I am so happy to see love triumph over fear.  Two individuals who wish to unite in marriage, regardless of skin color, country of origin, religion or sexual orientation ought to have the same rights as others in society.  This is not an attack against any religion or against the institution of marriage.  It is simply just.  And that is to the point.

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