- By Jim Evans
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Smart TalkSMART TALK By Dr. Viva Palaver
INTEND ON: The Alfred Kahn Clinic is full of William F. Buckley Syndrome sufferers. I know, I know; saying Buckley Syndrome survivors sounds politically correct, but as staff psychologist, I must maintain honesty in my work. So sufferers it is.
Anyway, the Alfred Kahn Clinic is happy that we send those who intend on doing things over to the William Safire Center to be treated for Insidious Englishisms. We call it IE. Patients in the IE ward try and do things, too.
I'm especially interested in the common feature of these two IEs: In their correct form, they're both followed by infinitives. For example, "I intend to finish this on time." "I will try to help my patients."
This fall, I'll read a paper to the Modern Language Association about how we at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired may have isolated a new disorder. I call it infinitivephobia.
Sufferers, so to speak - the rest of us suffer thanks to them, really - can't intend to or try to do anything.
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