Archive: Around Town

Hi Margaret:  I work for a company in a department with eight other women. For whatever reason, one of the women has decided I'm her mom and stops by, closes the door to my office, and begins telling me her woes. She takes up my time and drains my energy. I have feigned disinterest, given her feeble responses, and simply told her I don't know how to help her. She doesn't seem to get that I'm not interested in being her confidant or therapist. I don't want to go to our manager and 'rat her out,' but I'm not sure how to get her to stop encroaching on my life.
Tired of the Vampire
 
Tired of the Vampire: You've done everything to discourage her behavior except for one the solution that is the most effective. Clearly state that she is taking time away from your work schedule and that by using you as a sounding board for her problems is not only uncomfortable, but it is taking time away from your job.  Let her know that you'd like her to stop. As hard as it may be for you to believe, many people don't take hints well and need to be told in plain language that their behavior is unwanted, unwelcomed, and disruptive. You can leave it to your boss to do this job for you, but my guess is that if you don't do it yourself, you'll run into this type of vampirical behavior at another time and in another way.

---

v12i25