- By Margaret Snow
- Around Town
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I have a sister-in-law that is continually one-upping me in what seems like every interaction. She does this in conversation between the two of us as well as in groups. I’m getting so I can’t stand to be around her. If I do something noteworthy, she’s already done it, but better. If I have a difficult situation, she’s had it worse. I’m thinking of talking to my brother about this as he seems oblivious to his wife’s habit of stealing the spotlight. I would think he’d want to know how she is affecting me because, quite frankly, I’m starting to avoid gatherings where I know she’ll be present. My mother is telling me to just let it go. Who is right?Victim of One-Upmanship
Dear Victim of One-Upmanship: How invested are you in having the more noteworthy experience? Her insecurities are on display for all to see when she engages with you in that manner. I'm sure her husband need not be told, and discussing it with him could cause more harm than good. It may be worthwhile to examine what is at stake for you in letting her comments slide. What would you have to lose if you were to let her experiences be more remarkable than yours? Is there a possibility it might feel like an act of grace to let her feel good about herself? I'm with your mother on this one. Take the upper road.
Click Here to write to Dear Margaret. Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.
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