Archive: Around Town

I recently lost a very good friend because she thought I had designs on her husband. I readily admit that I am a flirt and always have been. My friend knows this. And yes, you could say that I flirted with her husband, but it was nothing sexual and it was always in good fun. I do not have romantic feelings for her husband by any means. My friend refuses to talk to me and has cut me out of her life. I'm devastated. I'm now questioning my behavior and am so conscious of how I act around men that I don't even feel like myself. How can I cope with the realization that how I act can be so misconstrued by others?
Who am I?

Dear Who am I?: We are living in the era of the #Metoo movement, and we are all in a place where we are becoming more conscious of how our speech and actions are perceived by others. This is a good thing. We are asking men to rethink how they treat women, and it would be a good idea for women to consider their actions as well. I would never go so far as to condemn all flirtation or flattery. I would suggest, however, that you spend a bit more time 'reading the room' when you engage in flirtation. Comments about someone's body, touching, or sexual innuendo with someone's partner or someone in the workplace are inappropriate, for example. Rethinking who you are and how you respond in relationship to others is not a bad place to find yourself. We generally grow and learn when we are in an uncomfortable place. Increased sensitivity to how your comments are received will guide you through this process.

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