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ImageSMART TALK

by Dr. Verbos Metikulos

ENORMITY: Here at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we've actually had staff meetings in Stunk Hall on words like this. The enormity of the 9/11 attack is obvious, but the meaning of that word isn't. It means horribleness, evil, depravity, heinousness. A good word to know.

It does not mean great size, even though many have made this mistake for at least 200 years. Yes, it can be used for that, but we have lots of fine words that actually mean great size. Using enormity to mean hugeness is like chipping paint with the good silver. It works, but words are fine tools, and a craftsman is known by the quality of his tools.

A less known word but misleading in the same way is noisome. A beach covered with dead fish is a noisome place. It means stinky, not noisy.

And crapulous, well. You might think this would make a great way to insult your least favorite politician. It might be, if he or she were a drunk. If you overindulge in alcohol, you're apt to be crapulous the next day. You might feel like crap, but "crapulous" describes a very particular kind of crappiness.

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