- By Jim Evans
- Entertainment
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SMART TALK
by Dr. "Gabby" Macron
UNIQUE AND UNUSUAL: Luke Johnson, mayor of Underbelly, Texas, appeared on local TV one evening to tout a new visitors' center. "We wann-ed something unique and unusual," he proclaimed, indicating a disquieting poster of what looked as if an armadillo the size of his ego had eaten the Fluff ‘n' Puff hair salon. As big as a blimp, the dull silvery creature seemed to crouch behind the Main Street sidewalk like a fever dream of a giant possum in a suit of armor.
"Now that's unique an' unusual," Mayor Johnson repeated. That there's gonna be our visitation cenner. Architeck over to Bedspring Tech got ‘er all designed."
You should have heard the angry roar in the Fowler Lounge over at the Center for English as a First Language. We therapists weren't throwing pretzels at the TV because of an ugly building plan. We raged at unique and unusual. Some of us had spent hours that very day treating patients who thought unique, which means one of a kind, or the only, could be modified with very, so, highly, or any other adverb.
Now to hear unique and unusual - well, it made a therapist wonder whether growing pineapples in Alaska might be easier.
Let's be clear: Nothing can be both unique and unusual. That's like saying parallel converging lines. Unusual means somewhat rare and implies that some others exist. If it's unique, no others exist. The Hope Diamond is unique. For a long time, we were told that each snowflake is unique. Apparently, each is unusual at best.
But your child is unique. Just like everybody else's.