Archive: Arts & Entertainment

SMART TALK: That and Which

: By Jim Evans; Entertainment; | Jan 18, 2007 |

SMART TALK
By Dr. Will S. Sert

THAT and WHICH: At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we teach the difference between that and which as an advanced series of sessions. We usually use Strunk Hall, which houses our auditorium, because this is a point of grammar that schools seem unable to instill.

To the assembled multitude, we first offer a mnemonic device: “No naked whiches.” This means, of course that they must have clothes, meaning, in this case, commas. Any series of words starting with “which” must have a comma before “which” and a comma or end punctuation after it. See the example in the first paragraph.

If you don’t pause as if you’re thinking of parentheses around the words, then don’t insert commas, and use “that.” Again, see the example in the first paragraph.

In technical language, “which” begins an independent clause, requiring the extra punctuation, and “that” begins a dependent clause, but you don’t need to know that.

Logical thinking may help, because your choice of “that” or “which” can change the meaning of what you say. “I saw five cars that were rusty go by” means you watched some traffic, and five of the cars were rusty.

“I saw five cars, which were rusty, go by” means that you saw exactly five cars go by, all of them rusty. See? It makes a difference.

Ironically, the English are particularly weak at keeping this straight and tend to use “which” nakedly to an embarrassing degree. I feel bad for them.

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Comic: Lansing Cafe

: By Ben Veaner; Entertainment; | Jan 18, 2007 |

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Local Choreographer Joins NY Theater Board

: By Dan Veaner; Entertainment; | Jan 18, 2007 |

Cayuga Heights choreographer Barbara Thuesen was recently appointed to the Board of Directors of The Nelson B Rockefeller Empire State Performing Arts Center Corporation. Known as 'The Egg' because of its unusual egg-like shape, the building contains a multiplex of theaters and performance spaces. "It's a building in an area that belongs to all of the people of New York State," Thuesen says. "All of the art work and the sculptures belong to the people of New York State, and the same thing is true with the Egg and the theater."

SMART TALK: Be Sure And

: By Jim Evans; Entertainment; | Jan 11, 2007 |

Smart Talk SMART TALK
By Saber S. Poder, R.N.

BE SURE AND: Some time back, I ran some trenchant remarks about how otherwise intelligent people often say try and instead of try to. In trying to sound sophisticated, they use poor English and sound uneducated. They even claim to feel badly about certain events.

These are the same earnest folks who admonish each other to be sure and do things. Of course, they mean be sure to do it, but the illogic of their language never enters their well-styled heads.

At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we nickname patients who misuse the language this way BWBs, for British WannaBes.

Like many Brits, they also don’t know the difference between that and which, but I’ll let another staff member tackle that one.

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Comic: Lansing Cafe

: By Ben Veaner; Entertainment; | Jan 11, 2007 |

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Kitchen Starts New Year With Musical

: By Kitchen Theatre; Entertainment; | Jan 4, 2007 |

ITHACA, NY: On January 11, 2007, the Kitchen Theatre Company (KTC) continue its 2006-07 / 16th Season with Rachel Lampert & Larry Pressgrove’s 'Comfort Food.' From the writing team that brought you The Angle of the Sun and Tony & the Soprano comes a new musical in three parts. Underwritten by Audrey Edelman & Associates/Realty USA, sponsored by Surgical Associates of Ithaca and Foster Custom Kitchens, this musical begins with two previews on Thursday January 11th at 7:30pm and Friday, January 12th at 8:00pm, and opens on January 13th running through February 10, 2007.

Comfort Food tells three separate stories of dining, dating, dessert, and desire, performed by a stellar cast. Tales from and in the kitchen, the play is filled with conversations and revelations that find people on the brink of change, as they do in kitchens across the country.

SMART TALK: Underbelly

: By Jim Evans; Entertainment; | Jan 4, 2007 |

Smart Talk SMART TALK
By Dr. Parley Speake

UNDERBELLY: Prospective patients at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired may ask why the I.L.I. is so isolated. A fair question.

Government employees and the very famous like the privacy we offer out on Interlink Road, and this area, redolent with redundancies, badly needs us.

Underbelly, Texas, seat of Lengua Loco County, sits between the River Rio and the Montaña Mountains. Vista View, just below Summit Peak, overlooks the town.

Visitors stay at the Hotel Inn. We read our local news in the Underbelly Prerecorder. We buy our clothes at the Sleeveless Vest. The even smaller town of Overback lies just up the road.

Underbelly citizens still feel great pride that a fellow Texan got into the White House, and they don’t care how he did it.

The general atmosphere of provinciality and incurious contentment allows our patients to come and go without notice, which they appreciate very much. Therefore, we never misunderestimate the wisdom of our choice of location.

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Comic: Lansing Cafe

: By Ben Veaner; Entertainment; | Jan 4, 2007 |

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SMART TALK: Underneath

: By Jim Evans; Entertainment; | Dec 21, 2006 |

Smart Talk SMART TALK
By Garrel S. Utter, N.P.

UNDERNEATH: Dr. Puissant Harangue delivered the Samuel Bacon Lecture last year at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired. Fluent in five languages and having served on L’Academie Français, Dr. Harangue believes in pure, clear, logical expression.

Logical? As much as we felt honored to have him speak to us, we wondered whether he might entertain us by trying to apply consistent logic to a language as quirky as English. The good doctor did not disappoint.

As expected, he railed against saying try and instead of try to, and calling lecterns podiums. He even advocated a return to de’d reckoning, the contraction of deduced reckoning, or navigation by extrapolation, which devolved, due to writers’ ignorance, to the nonsensical dead reckoning. We were duly delighted.

But we hadn’t thought of underneath. We were astonished. How had we missed it? At this moment, Dr. Harangue more than earned his lecture fee.

“Say under or beneath,” he thundered. “In combining them, you commit a redundancy. Why would you do that? If you must say underneath, then you must also say overbove!”

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Comic: Lansing Cafe

: By Ben Veaner; Entertainment; | Dec 21, 2006 |

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Nutcracker!

: By Dan Veaner; Entertainment; | Dec 21, 2006 |

For the tenth time in 20 years, The Nutcracker came to Lansing this past week. Here are some scenes from the preview students performed at the Board of Education Meeting Last week:

SMART TALK: Unsolved Mystery

: By Dan Veaner; Entertainment; | Dec 14, 2006 |

Smart Talk SMART TALK
By Dr. Will S. Sert

UNSOLVED MYSTERY: Remember the TV show of that name? The first time it aired at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, outraged staff in the Fowler Lounge threw steins at the screen and destroyed the television. Thereafter, the bartender had to change channels before it came on.

Saying unsolved mystery is a symptom of cerebroporosis and warns us to test for confirming symptoms, such as advance reservations, foot pedal, and mutual agreement.

We hate to have our work undone by producers whom we should be treating. The same producers probably blame the schools for their own kids’ poor English.

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Comic: Lansing Cafe

: By Ben Veaner; Entertainment; | Dec 14, 2006 |

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