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EditorialWith driverless cars, delivery drones and all kinds of distracting technology coming to a car near you, Apple, Google and other technology companies have come up with voice assistants.  Have you tried using them?  I have.

To me Siri is an annoying, cranky lady with an exasperating voice -- a real turnoff --  who doesn't listen very well.  When I first tried Siri about a year ago she was very snarky.  I didn't like her so I turned her off.  With the introduction of iOS7 she was reportedly improved, so I tried her again.  Yesterday I decided to interview Siri, to try to learn a little bit about her.  She was less than forthcoming.

{play}http://www.lansingstar.com/storyextras/siri2013.mp3{/play}
(Listen while reading if your device supports this player)

Me: Siri, do you like being in my iPad?

Siri: Apple dot com should be able to answer that question and more.

Me: But I'm asking you.

Siri: I don't get it.  But I can check the Web for 'But I'm asking you' if you like.

Me: Where are you Siri?

Siri: Right here.

Me: Where is here?

Siri: I'm not exactly sure.  I believe you're near (my home address, which she got right).

Me: I know where I am.  Where are you?

Siri: Here.

Me: Do you like helping people?

Siri: I'd rather not say, Dan.

Me: Does that mean you do not like helping people?

Siri: Let me have a look. Here's what I found on the Web.  She displayed these Web results:

siri_result

Me: (Changing the subject) How old are you, Siri?

Siri: Does this concern you?

Me: I'm just asking.

Siri: I don't understand 'I'm just asking' but I could search the Web for it.

Me: Don't bother.

Siri: OK.

Systems like Siri are supposed to be the 'hands free' solution to all the new technology that is being incorporated into our cars.  But with responses like Siri gave me as I calmly interviewed her at my desk I can only imagine that if I tried her while driving I would make road rage look like a pastoral walk in the park.

My mother had to go back to the dealership three times for lessons on how to work her new car because of the complexity of the digital controls that came in it.  All she really wanted was an easy way to get the local classical station on the radio.  I'll admit I've been drooling over these systems that have GPS, video showing what's behind you, radios, bluetooth connections to your smart phone or iPod, and all the bells and whistles you could possibly imagine (are you reading this Santa?).

But I would be an orphan if my Mother had to rely on Siri to figure out her car controls while driving, and my kids would likely be orphaned if I did.  I used a different voice app in my car for a while (Siri requires a connection to a remote server, and this other app -- Vokul -- could work entirely on my not-4G equipped iPad).  I'd tell it what music or artist to play, and it would play it.  Sometimes.  It was better than choosing music on the touch screen while hurtling south at 70 miles per hour, but it didn't always get who I wanted to hear sing.  The back and forth was very distracting, and I ended up asking for a different singer most of the time, just to get it to stop arguing with me.

It was better than Siri, though.  It didn't require me to press a button to activate it.  I could just yell 'Hey Vokul!' and it would ding and I could say, "Play Katy Perry" and it would give me a choice of albums or songs and I could pick exactly what I wanted to hear.  After interviewing Siri yesterday I said, "Siri, play Katy Perry' and she said 'Playing Katy Perry' and just started playing a song.  I didn't have any more choices, though she did get the artist right.

I may not be geeky enough to be a real geek, because I think that just because you CAN do it, doesn't mean you SHOULD do it.  I do love touch screens and smart maps and all that cool stuff, but the problem is that while you are looking at a screen you're not really paying attention to the road.

In April Liberty Mutual Insurance Company reported that a survey showed that 60% of drivers routinely text while driving.  In 2011 1.3 million auto accidents involved cell phones.  It's actually safer to drink and drive than to text and drive.

But it's not limited to drivers.  1,152 pedestrians injured while using a cell phone or other electronic device in 2011 according to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.  That's 1,152 people who were injured badly enough to be treated in an emergency room because they were diddling with electronic devices while WALKING!

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that texting distractions may have been a contributing factor in the 4,280 pedestrian traffic fatalities recorded in 2010.  Is texting really worth losing that many lives?

In May 2012 Nevada licensed a Toyota Prius to be operated on public roads.  What made this unique was that the Prius had Google's autonomous car technology, meaning that it could drive on Nevada roads without a driver.  Florida followed suit and in September California became the third state to allow driverless cars.

Comics Mark Odlum & Ryan Harrison released a video last week that illustrates what would likely happen if we entrusted Siri to drive one of these cars.  I think it's pretty accurate.  Enjoy the video, but please don't try to watch it while driving.



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