Archive: Opinions

I was going through my Grandfather's scrapbooks and came across elegant certificates commemorating my grandparent's Pan American Airlines flight when they visited the Panama Canal.  Flying was elegant in those days, something people dressed up to do.  Service was great, there were printed menus and the airlines made sure that each passenger would cherish the experience as an event they would always remember.

Not any more.  I'm not going to complain about being herded like cattle at the airport.  I'm not going to complain about being treated like a criminal before being allowed to go to the gate.  But here's how enough Frequent Flyer miles to pay for four 'round trip tickets from Ithaca to Minneapolis to throw a birthday party for my in-laws cost my wife three days of extreme anger and frustration and cell phone minutes, and $250 to buy a ticket for one person.

Frequent Flyer miles are a way the airlines entice you and me to fly.  The offer miles for miles flown, and some people get them for spending money on their credit cards.  Others get them for agreeing to not go on overbooked flights.  The lure is that you get free tickets when you have collected enough miles.  You can go anywhere any time.  Except you can't.

I was working at my computer when I noticed my wife was talking on the phone in the other room, because her voice was getting louder and higher pitched as she replied to a voice recognition system that refused to recognize her responses.  "Agent," she said.  "Agent.  Agent!  AGENT!!!"

After screaming at the automated system for a while she evidently got an agent who would not help her.  So she demanded to speak to a supervisor.  The call was disconnected.

She called back immediately.

"Agent.  AGENT!!  SUPERVISOR!!!!!", she intoned.

Over the course of three days I overheard her explaining to various US Airways representatives how their 'Frequent Flyer" program is a classic bait and switch, because while the number of miles needed to get that Minneapolis trip was evidently correct, there were no tickets available for that number of miles.

But she could spend more miles and get a ticket.

Our family doesn't travel all that much, but because my family lives in Florida and hers in Minneapolis we do fly from time to time.  So each of us, including our two kids, have accrued a modest amount of miles.  But none of us had enough to pay for one US Airways ticket at the number of the airline now told her she would have to spend.  So she had to move miles from our accounts to hers.

Of course there was a fee for doing that.  And it was multiplied by three for moving all of our miles into one account.  She ended up paying $250 for her 'free' ticket, not counting baggage fees.

The reason she called so many times over so many days is that the airline's online system was down, so she wanted a representative to transfer the miles for her.  That seems reasonable to me.  But she was told to wait a while and try again online.  Which continued to not work.

"Agent... Agent.  Agent!  AGENT!!!  SUPERVISOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Eventually she did get help and she managed to intimidate a supervisor into waiving a $75 fee for transferring the miles.

In 2012 U.S. airlines collected $3.5 billion in baggage fees alone.  Less than $75 of profits came from ticket sales with the rest coming from fees.  My wife and I were smacked with that reality the last time we went to Florida.

We were visiting my family not long ago and our suitcase had been damaged on the flight out, which of course the airline took no responsibility for.  My mother loaned us one of hers, but evidently it was heavier than ours because when we got to the airport it weighed eight pounds over the 50 pound limit.

After paying $25 to check our suitcase we were facing a $90 'overweight bags' fee.  My wife opted to move the overage to her carry-on bag, pay $25 for the second bag (US Airways charges $35 for a second bag, but there were two of us, so we each got a $25 suitcase).  We carried her carry-on stuff to an airport shop, where she bought a new bag to put it in for $35.  It's a nice bag, but I'll wager it wouldn't have cost $35 if we hadn't been at the airport where a small bottle Coke costs well over two dollars.

So for a lousy six or eight pounds we ended up $65 poorer.

For all the wonderfullness of being squeezed into a space that is smaller than a human and being barked at by flight attendants, U.S. Airways charges extra for almost everything.  Non-refundable ticket change fee: $200.  Reservation by phone fee: $25.  Unaccompanied minor fee: $100.  First checked bag: $25.  Second checked bag: $35.  Additional bags fee: $125 for the third; $200 for fourth-ninth bags.  Overweight bags: $90 for 51-70 lbs; $175 for 71-100lbs.  Oversize bags: $175.  Pet flight fee: $125.  Priority boarding: $10 and up.  Preferred/advance seats: $5-$99.

I am prone to motion sickness.  But I would rather vomit on a crowded plane than pay between $5 and $99 for so-called 'preferred seating'.  In fact I would much prefer to just drive to wherever I want to go because commercial air flight has become such an expensive and unpleasant experience.

So even though we qualified for four free tickets, we ended up paying $215 to move 32,500 miles to one account plus a $25 travel booking fee and $10 tax for one ticket.

She's flying.  The rest of us are driving to Minneapolis.

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