Archive: Arts & Entertainment

SMART TALK SMART TALK
By  Dr. Viva Palaver

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE: For wicked fun at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we wish each other a perky, “Keep a positive mental attitude!” This irritates on at least two levels.

As staff psychologist, I can’t resist joining in the teasing. It helps let off a safe bit of steam after a day of treating patients who say nucular and most importantly.

Of course, we do our best to maintain a positive attitude, but we do look forward to our annual Celebrity Roast, at which we highlight — lowlight? — a linguistically impaired public figure. Our President, for instance.

----
v2i18

ITHACA, NY: On May 19 and 20, then again June 16 and 17, 2006, the Kitchen Theatre Company's alternative series, KITCHEN COUNTER CULTURE will conclude its 2005-06 season with Labor. Ithaca powerhouse Michelle Courtney Berry-actor, poet, teacher, city councilwoman, Tompkins County Poet Laureate, and more-transports us from the cotton fields of North Carolina to a steamy Manhattan apartment, from New Orleans, where an unsung hero rescues Katrina victims, to the Finger Lakes, where migrant workers share their dreams and frustrations.

Berry brings to life her many characters through the work they do, from the labor of building a house to the labor of childbirth. This one-woman play will run for only four performances (see performance calendar below) and will serve to both launch and close the Kitchen's upcoming New Play Festival that features three new pieces by local playwrights T. Paul McCabe, George Sapio and Marie Sirakos.

SMART TALK SMART TALK
By  Assoc. Therapist Les Terse

PICK AND CHOOSE: Like some other staff of the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, I go to Mass at Our Lady of Loving Disapproval. Last Sunday, we heard a strongly worded homily from Father Peter Holdoff.

“It’s plain and simple,” he thundered, you can’t pick and choose. This is a complete and total package. Each and every time you take the bits and pieces you like, you endanger your soul forever and ever.”

Those of us from the institute squirmed in our seats but not because the message was hitting home. Father Holdoff might have made his point better to us, at least, without all the redundancies.

Simple language is always better.

----
v2i17

----
v2i17

All's fair in love and...Scrabble? Seven Points for 'Love' explores the utter panic and pressure involved in forming the perfect plan to propose. Kevin is overwhelmed with nerves as he struggles to think of a way to ask for Jenny's hand in marriage. As Kevin attempts to think of a brilliant, original plan to propose to Jenny, he is stuck in the middle of a Scrabble game with his competitive girlfriend and her nosey teenage sister. Kevin must play his letters right in order to discover the right words to win Jenny's heart while maintaining his sanity when his plans go awry and he is thrown into the midst of chaos. Fun for everyone.

SMART TALK SMART TALK
By Dr. Parley Speake

OLD GEEZER: The staff at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired enjoys many an evening in the Fowler Lounge tap room playing what we call redundancy crunching. This means making a joke by turning the redundancy on its head.

For instance, “Gabby” Johnson may wonder aloud whether Father Peter Holdoff, over at Our Lady of Loving Disapproval, is a young codger or an old whippersnapper. Or if Maken, Payette & Hurt, the Institute’s law firm, might be the overback of society here in Underbelly, Texas.

Recently, an old friend had the nerve to refer to another friend, who’s also old, as an old geezer. Naturally, I brought that up by proposing that the man might actually be a young geezer, having an old body but a very young and nimble mind.

Said proposition was greeted with loving disappoval.

----
v2i16

Cafe Square was jammed with about 1000 spectators Tuesday night as a huge crowd packed in to see the final round in Pyramid Mall's "Famous in the Fingerlakes" contest.  Five contestants were on hand, hopeful that the audience would vote them the winner.  This was week four in a contest that started with 20 contestants that had been picked from over 150 tapes and auditions.

Aaron Kelly wows about 1000 spectators at the "Famous in the Fingerlakes" finals

12-year old music sensation Aaron Kelly opened the show with a selection of country tunes.  Kelly belted out the selections with showmanship and a powerful voice that had the crowd swaying and clapping.  Kelly's first CD is due soon.  He has performed with Martina McBride, Charlie Daniels and the Marshall Tucker Band.

----
v2i16

----
v2i15

SMART TALK SMART TALK
By  Nurse “Gabby” Johnson

I FOUND IT IN THE LAST PLACE I LOOKED: At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, our handyman and odd jobber is an Underbelly cousin named Woody Johnson. Considering his work place, he tries to be careful about how he talks, even though his high school English teacher, Shirley Markem Lowe, reports that he wasn’t the deepest well in the oilfield.

An indication of his effort to sound intelligent came last week, when he spent half a morning searching for his tape measure. He went through the Institute repair shop repeatedly, opening drawers and re-piling parts and pieces.

Finally, his distant cousin, Head of Maintenance Zerk Johnson (another cousin, from a sounder branch of the family), couldn’t stand the disturbance and asked if he could help.

“Oh, I found it right away,” replied Woody. “It just sounds so dumb to say I found it in the last place I looked, so I kept searching.”

Just for that, Zerk sent Woody out with a tractor and a chain to pull out gopher holes.

----
v2i15